so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
