your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
