i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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