So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
