Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize