I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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