Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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