that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Randomize
