She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
