38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
