You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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