She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
