friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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