If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize