she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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