Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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