apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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