So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
