I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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