First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
