What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
