On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She told me I should be a condom model.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
