I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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