i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
