Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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