then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
