i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
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Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
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I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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