i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
