dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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