so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
