Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
