I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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