4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
