I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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