Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
