it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
