you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
its not stalking. its research.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
