He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
