DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
