Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
