i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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