I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
