Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize