RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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