i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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