HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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