Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
