Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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