Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
