my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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