I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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