I faked an abortion last night.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
