Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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