Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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