Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
