We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
