I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
