im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
