Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
