i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
