I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You work out of a Hotel?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
