I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
