umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Randomize
