The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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