in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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