She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
